The past few months and weeks... more so in the recent weeks, have left me emotionally drained, what with all the emo-nemo-ego-nego drama; and how I am somehow dragged into the centre of it just because I am the most suitable, most available and most convenient to do it.
This idea of convenience... I hate it. Like a cheap, off-the-shelf 3-in-1 coffee which you'd get just because it's convenient - not because you like it. No, you might even feel like it's repulsive - but you take it anyway cos you either have no money to buy your $6 hipster latte or the next shop is 10 miles down the road. That's how I feel I am.
So people tell me that I am the "best" person to do this - because someone else is "too busy", because I am "skillful" at navigating the politics and emotions of people... because I am "nice" enough. Really? If I spend all my time being empathetic and patient with other people, who's going to be empathetic and patient for me?
.......
Only I can save myself. And yet, I wonder, why can't the people I am tasked to save, see that they could actually save themselves too?