Let's Play Pretend While They Try To Get It "i realized something tonight. in my many ponderings on why it is still considered illegal for me to be married, i had an epiphany....i'm like a kid waiting for my driver's license. i wait, worry, wonder, theorize, excuse, accept...all of the reasons why i cannot marry the person i love. then it hit me: i don't have my license yet.
when i was younger, i spent years dreaming of the day that i could get behind the wheel. 'i'll be such a great driver!' 'i'm ready' 'i wouldn't honk at anyone, if they'd just give me my license!' at this point, i'd honk at anyone. for the sole purpose of showing them....i did it...i got married....so there. but, is that what i want? don't get me wrong, i'd love to marry him. you all know it, as i've said it (too)many times before. but, i also want to do it when the time is right. not just a way to "stick it to the man." i may complain, moan, or otherwise whine about not being able to get hitched to my guy.....but honestly, if i'm the only one that views it as being 'ok,' i'd rather not do it just yet.
my relationship is more like marriage than most 'married' people can hope for. we care about each other. we take care of each other. we take care of our household. we contribute, symbiotically, to eachother's lives. if a piece of paper that states we are 'married' is all you need to accept that.....well, freakin' let us have it already! if not, then mind your business and let us live a life that might just be happier than yours.
herein lies my point: like getting a license, such things come with time. i could be 15 years old and be the best nascar racer the world has ever seen, but until society realizes that a 15 year old is capable of driving,......it just ain't gonna happen. like every other 15 year old out there, i might not be able to drive just yet, but i will show you....and it's totally worth the wait."
What an unusually optimistic view of the state of discrimination against GLBTs today... But why not? Hope is so much better than despair, isnt it?
``larcenciel
Music: Relax, Take It Easy - DJ Bacon Remix Mood: sleepy
8:41 PM
Friday, July 27, 2007
Here And There
Ive been MIA for quite a bit! Thanks to freshmen and econs camp, which lasted from fri to tues. I am so totally shagged after the 5 consecutive days of camps... with crazy games, cheers, screaming, socialising etc etc. I was sooo happy on tues night!! When I could finally sleep in my own comfy bed again...and not have to wake up at unearthly hours (like 6am....)
All in all, I had an awesome time. Made lotsa new friends =)) But now that camps are over, it means I've to start studying for Final Theory and prep for school to start proper! Sigh. And speaking of school, Ive a report due on 14th Aug! YES. Even before college starts, Ive to write a freaking report, complete with appendices and blahblah all that!
Help, -gulps.
``larcenciel
Music: Me Against The Music - Britney Spears feat Madonna Mood: tired
12:12 AM
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Dykamania
I know, I know...I already have my own cute, attractive, awesome lovergirl waiting in Melbourne to finish her studies so that she can come back to me but here I am alone in my room, like a true closeted voyeur, surfing around friendster and facebook etc to spot cute butches.
LOL. But it is kinda fun... snooping around unknown people's blogs and friendsters XD and laughing at their self-taken picts...although I must admit, some of them really look pwhoar! Inspiring you know? Makes me wanna try to be a dyke. Okay, maybe not dyke dyke but andro dyke.
I could try....I mean, physically it's easy for me since I'm already so flat you can even eat breakfast on my chest.
HAHA. I think I'm going bonkers. This post makes absolutely no sense at all. Must be the no-girlfriend-around syndrome. Ahh..come back dear come back!
``larcenciel
Music: Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake Mood: super queer
1:35 AM
Monday, July 16, 2007
Love Is The Villian
It's been a week since girlfriend's flew off... Been missing her...and thanks to camps and CIP projects it's not been so bad. The past 5days I've been busy prepping for Harmony Fest. Made lotsa nice friends and learnt quite abit about sound! I think I'm gonna join the smu broadcasting team and learn sound from the professionals =))
Yesterday was an event to raise funds for the disabled people in Singapore so that they can enter the special olympics. One of the friends' Ive made was wheelchair-bound. He completed 50 laps around the track in 3hours. He's amazing, seriously. I am filled with respect for him. It's people like him that remind me how terribly unaccomplished and unfulfilled I am right now.
Anyways, more camps ahead! The freshmen and econs camp. Back to back! I foresee myself being so completely shagged by next week =X
``larcenciel
Music: Get On - Dirtmitts Mood: silly
2:38 PM
Monday, July 09, 2007
Wine Red
I'm awake but my world is half asleep.
Oh my god why is it still so hard? You'd think with all the previous goodbyes we had this time would be easier but no. It's still so hard. I cant even send her off because it'll be waterworks again.
I dont know if it's a good thing...that the next 2,3 weeks or so will be completely packed with uni activities etc. Some part of me wants to shrivel up and die and be an anti-social freak for the next 6months. The other part of me is so psyched up for the camps and new experiences, meeting new people and all that shit.
But one thing's for sure, all parts of me love my girlfriend. Tons and tons and tons. Keep safe love.
``larcenciel
Music: So Tell Me - Heartsdales Mood: moody
9:17 PM
Friday, July 06, 2007
Pooped!
Matri yesterday was TIRING!! And I think that was just the tip of the iceberg.. Information overload, had to make so many decisions as to which camps to sign up for, which welfare organisation to join to complete the required 80hours, laptop and network crap etc etc. Oh boy, Ive never made so many decisions all at once in my life!
Guess that's uni life for you... Anyway, gotta enjoy the remaining 3days with her! Sigh. Time does fly, doesnt it?? But as much as I'm dreading the camps and orientation (read: stupid ice-breakers etc) I'm also so psyched for college life! =)) It's gonna be hell but definitely rewarding too. Moreover, when holidays are here, it'll also mean that my beloved is also having her holidays and maybe, just MAYBE, she might be able to pop by again.
``larcenciel
Music: none Mood: weird
7:47 PM
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Comfort Food
This morning whilst mending the SPCA booth at the Geyland Serai Town Day my left eye started smarting real bad. It was just an occassional stinging at first but an hour later I absolutely could not keep my left eye open. So i went to one of those gross makeshift toilets and tried to appease the offending thing in my eye that was causing it so much distress. In the end it took too long, I threw both my contacts away and so ended up partially blind for the rest of the day (read: the next 12 hours)
Anyway old people are really amusing. They kept asking us for free gifts and asked if our sales merchandise were free. Lol. Infact, they were so hard up for freebies that they insisted on taking the free stuff other stalls gave us! And as information officer today, I did meet alot of funny people. They ended up telling me their whole life story and about how they fed the strays and took them for sterilization etc.
But interacting with the people who go all out to take care of the strays made me view things in another light. I keep sayin I'm all for animal welfare and all that but seriously, I dont think I'm doing enough. If only I could be like those people who came up to me, who are actually doing something useful for the poor strays out there, I would be so much less ashamed of myself. And then perhaps, I could convince myself that I am making a difference.
Right now, I'm not even half, a quarter or even a tenth as good as these unsung heroes. So what if theyre not in the SPCA volunteer mailing list? So what if theyre not vets or animal welfare activists? At least theyre the ones out there, directly touching the animals' lives.
Everytime I go for a volunteer session with the SPCA, I always take back so many valuable lessons and experiences, albeit with some emo-ness as the side effect.
``larcenciel
Music: I Should Have Never Let You Go - Bardot Mood: contemplative