Hmm... Remind me to invest in something rainbow coloured one day.
And looks like I'm not gonna fail prelims. Hah. Imagine that. Here I am celebrating that I just scraped through the Prelims whilst people around me are worrying because they're just 5 marks short of an A or full marks.
``larcenciel
Music: Love Makes the World Go Round - Ashlee Simpson Mood: Proud
8:52 PM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Past and Present
"The love that dares not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art, like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are. It is in this century misunderstood, so much misunderstood that it may be described as 'the love that dares not speak its name', and on that account of it I am placed where I am now. It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an older and a younger man, when the older man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand. The world mocks at it, and sometimes puts one in the pillory for it.
-Oscar Wilde
``larcenciel
Music: Cannonball - Damien Rice Mood: raw
4:54 PM
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Well, I'll Be Damned
This is plain stupid. Jonathan Leong should have won. He should be the Singapore Idol and I'm mad, so damned mad that he didnt get it. I know the title isnt all that important but Jonathan Leong really deserves it so damned much because he IS, he IS the Idol and he IS loved by Singaporeans. He sings well, he isnt boring, he's cool, he's genuine and sincere. He's too damned good! And I'm just so irritated at Mediacorp. ONCE AGAIN Singapore media proves itself to be the very, very WORST thing ever in the whole wide world but what can we do? It's Singapore media. The prerequisite to anything to do with media in Singapore is just one word, SUCKY. We know damned well that the bloody voting system is rigged so stop trying to hide it man. Shit ass Idol. I'm not going to criticise Hady. He's good, yeah. But Jonathan Leong is tons better and it just stinks that the Singapore Idol title had to settle with someone less. Hell, whatever. It's over.
No, no you know what? It's stupid. It's messed up. It's just too weird for my liking. God. This is not me. This is not me typing all this. It isnt even me feeling all this. I cant, I wont ever, ever think of anything like this because I know it's wrong, wrong, so damned wrong it just screams W-R-O-N-G and I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E in my face! Yet I cant, cant, just cant stop it you know? It's like I'm not even breathing right now as I think of all this. I'm always thinking, always wondering, always arguing with myself.
I'm like this. Like this stupid, stupid, ridiculous, hung-over, blurred self because of.... And you know. You know it too damned well, asshole.
``larcenciel
Music: I Think I - Full House OST Mood: peeved
12:36 AM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Coming Out
``Leandra
5:29 PM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Ambitious Realities
You know, sometimes I think we ROCK.
Today has to be one of those days which I feel thankful, happy, optimistic and ambitious, and believe me, those days dont really come by for me. I cant point out what exactly made me feel this way, but I know it has something to do with my family, my lovely friends, my boyfriend, food (hehehe) and funnily enough, the examinations.
Exams are really nothing. Nothing compared to the infallible spirit and determination of the human heart. Even though there are times we feel broken down by the stress and the overwhelming pressure to do well, we know that deep down, we are definitely capable of 4As. No, not just 4As, perhaps 5, 6, 7. Hell, make it 10.
It doesnt have to be confined to studies alone. It can be so much more. What's so amazing is just, simply put, ourselves. We have the power to give lives, to prolong them. We also have the power to shorten them. Artificially, even cruelly, perhaps.
The Human Race has far more potential than you can imagine. The Brain is the testament to it. We can memorize so many facts, reason and rationalize, and whisk out the information anytime we want. With all that logic you'd think we were incapable of love, but how very, very untrue. We emote and feel, we make decisions based on our heart and head.
If only everyone of us were aware of this, the World will not be like this now. It would not be so.... primitive.
We were created to win. To conquer, and to empower. We were never meant to be slaves to each other or fabricated entities.
It's really exciting yet frightening when you think about it. The absurd potential of, believe it or not, ourselves - Humans.
``larcenciel
Music: Give My Love - Edward Chun Mood: ambitious
7:42 PM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
All Dolled Up
I was reading the 9/11 Time Special a few nights ago and they mentioned the much talked about conspiracy theory video that has been circulating online - Loose Change. It's a home-made documentary about the conspiracy of the WTC attacks; basically they're saying that the Bush Administration was the one in charge of the so-called terrorist attacks. It's not a video just about the conclusion, it is one ladden with facts and figures, evidence from the past as well as the present. So it kinda manages to win you over... Time said that it feeds our own desires, that of a hunger for a BIG reason for BIG events, so that Life will not seem too random, and we will not seem so vulnerable to fate and it's consequences. Maybe. Maybe we just want an alternative answer now because it seems more credible.
Ok, I really digress. My point of bringing up Loose Change was that it made me search for the WTC attack footages, and golly, there were so many! From different angles, different heights, at different times. The attack was something like, planeA crashes into one tower, there is alot of smoke, alot of debris but the tower doesnt collapse yet. A while later planeB just zooms right into the other tower. The impact of it was huge, and shortly after the 1st tower just crumbled. It didnt collapse. It crumbled. You know how dominos topple, one after another, so smoothly? Like how a key fits exactly into the keyhole?
Imagine, years and years of hard work, blood and sweat have collapsed together with the people inside. It just takes a few seconds, and everything they built before was gone, gone, gone. It's agonizing for bystanders to watch. Even more so with people falling out of the buildings. God, they must have been, what, 90 over stories high? Falling from the 90th storey?? There was one video titled: Falling People. God, it was so gruesome. Although the footage was blurry, just watching people fall off the tower, like ants, made my hair stand. And the drop isnt exactly very short, so basically, they are just thrown about by the wind, with their limbs flaying so violently. God, they must have been so afraid. They must have been so desperate.
All this just affirms the realisation that Man are, ultimately, at the mercy of everything around him. We destroy ourselves, we help wreck lives, we damage the Earth and it's living things; we just consume, consume and consume every single thing.
But saying that doesnt and wont make the world a better place. Hell, nothing I do can ever help the world and it's sorry state. Perhaps all these "worldly burdens" shouldnt be things a very, very average teenager like me to think about. Leave them to the leaders (no wonder the world turns out like that) but then, after all, what is Life if there is no death?
And with that, I will have to go bury myself in Ideal Gas Laws and etc. Brilliant.
``larcenciel
Music: Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet Mood: confused
10:35 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Golden
I know I have little right to say this, but I think that people should really stop putting full blame on the American president for the current situation of the Iraq war. Ok, granted, he made strategic blunders that cost America much, much pain. But the "commentaries", "essays" and "analysis" that Ive been reading regarding the Iraq war are all based on hindsight. 5 years ago, there werent so many cynical remarks around.
In fact, if 5 years ago, the Whitehouse didnt do anything (like declare war etc) the Americans would have been too damned pissed because 9/11 was a big shock and the only thing on their minds was probably revenge.
But anyways, I cant be too sure either. I dont think I know enough about 9/11 and what followed after to "declare" any strong view or stand.
A moment of silence for the victims of 9/11.
``larcenciel
Music: None Mood: Solemn
8:32 PM
Friday, September 08, 2006
Ain't Cool Enough
Look, y'all. I know that handphones can be a great way to show off your sophistication (Samsung Ultra Slim, Chocolat, whatever) and state of modern-ness but letting your bloody Nokia ring for GodKnowsHowLong is just not cool. Especially if it's set to the default Nokia tone, it's plain irritating. Some dude had his ringing incessantly twice, I really wanted to just turn around and say, PLEASE, stop. It's murdering my ears. I didnt though. They were mutts, 'nuff said. I'm too much of a coward.
I thank the existance of the ipod, or rather, earphones, for instances like these.
After surviving the disgusting "der der deng der der deng" emitted from the mutt's cell, I looked out of the window and saw 2 elderly ladies walking together. Holding hands. Clasping hands, fingers entwined, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. All smiles.
It probably wasnt anything, but it got me thinking, It is possible.
***
Baby, you spin me around The earth is moving but i cant feel the ground Everytime u look at me My heart is jumping it's easy to see
You drive me crazy I just cant sleep I'm so excited, I'm in too deep Crazy, but it feels alright Baby thinking of u keeps me up all night.
Tell me, you're so into me That I'm the only one you will see Tell me I'm not in the blue That I'm not wasting My feelings on you Loving you means so much more More than anything I felt before
Ahahahaha. That's right. I'm back to the Britney Schoolgirl days... The song is hot! =P wheee. Enough, Leandra. Time to drown yourself in economics.
Heaven's gates wont open up for me On these hands and knees I'm crawling on. I'm reaching out for you Im terrified of these 4 walls, I'm on the edge of the 18-storey and All I need is you. Hurry, I'm falling. And all I'm screaming for is You.
Come please, I'm calling.
``larcenciel
Music: Chu Mai - Zhou Chuan Xiong Mood: empty
8:38 PM
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Exclusively Hers
Have you ever noticed that a cello resembles a woman? Beautiful, full curves.... a slender neck... And if you draw your bow across her strings in just the right way, you can make her sing with pleasure.