Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Mulling Over
The still night always leaves me in contemplation. I'd be swarmed with all the routine demands in the day, and at night I am left to my own devices; left alone and to myself; left behind - maybe - or just too far ahead from everyone else. What am I doing with my life, with myself, with everything that I am or choose to be? Simplicity eludes me, even though I yearn for it - and ignorance - more than anything else. It is not pessimism (I prefer seeing the doughnut than the hole) but optimism is not quite the right word either. It's more like a realization, or a deep questioning, rather, especially today as it marks the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. A world-shocking event that left so many lives and hearts destroyed in its wake, and would eventually go on to wreck even more not just in America but in Iraq and the other countries that were dragged in a senseless, tedious war that was cursed with an exhaustion that was impossible to stop. When you can step back and look at this event and its proceeding milestones, how infinitely dramatic it was and how many lines it blurred and rules it stepped over, then you will know what I mean by lone reflection. It's not just emo angst, it's also a lot of heartache and sadness and empathy, and then some sort of ray of hope and the unabashed belief that things will get better... but then slowly, fades into oblivion.
After all, a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world...
``larcenciel
Music: None
Mood: Lethargic
3:05 AM
larcenciel
Queer in both essences
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