Oh my God, I caught Adam Lambert LIVE in Singapore @ F1 on 25 Sep, 1130pm at the Padang. Dear friend, BS, got passes for me as a birthday present. I'm still reeling with joy and joyfulness and fangirl-bliss-heaven and stuff after seeing dearest Adam, in all his full, glorious awesomeness, heating up the stage and charming everyone with his marvelous gig. The crowd went absolutely wild... I went wild! Especially when he did that sexy smooch with Tommy... That was God in flesh.
Sigh. It is such a lovely feeling to idolize and fangirl like this... It's always nice to have some sort of out-of-this-world, God-like, untouchable hero in one's life. Hey, at least he exists... And he's everything I love in an idol; handsome, dark, flamboyant, charming, eclectic, gay, gorgeous, musically talented and of course, never fails to deliver his fantastic fanservice. Makes the fangirls like me go crazy, heh.
Will most probably be catching him in Malaysia as well; 14 October at KL. Let's hope this trip will materialize.
Meanwhile, I'll continue to dream about Adam and his sexy bassist, Tommy- my new all-time favourite couple!
``larcenciel
Music: Strut - Adam Lambert Mood: Fangirly
12:28 AM
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Thorns and Roses
There's always something distasteful about someone who likes a friend's post on infidelity. You know???
``larcenciel
Music: Family Tradition - Senses Fail Mood: Irritated
4:21 AM
Thursday, September 16, 2010
It Will Never Be Right If You Don't Even Think It Is
Found this song on tap tap 2. It has a nice beat to it, some nice vocals. Then I watched the music video and found a pretty cute bassist. And then I realised the video's story and completely fell in love with it.
It starts off with a classroom scene, teacher's giving back math tests and one of the guy's got an F. A girl looks unimpressed at his bad score, and we see another guy looking over, presumably F guy's friend, to see F's score. That friend got an A. F decides that he wants A to tutor him, and he sorta points over to the girls - telling him to teach him so he can improve and impress a girl. A accepts and so begins their duo study sessions. You'll notice A giving longing sidewards glances to F, and they sit particularly close most of the time. They have a lot of fun together as well - like best friends - but we know better; the way A's gaze trails F's every move, the way he shifts awkwardly when he sees F with another chick. Soon, the next test is over and F gets a B+. He's happy, and it's time to celebrate with a campfire gathering with the rest of the class. F is getting cozy with his girl, and there is another girl hanging onto A's arm, and A almost seems like he is interested in her. And what better thing to do at an all-American party than to get completely wasted and puke your hearts out? Both F and A's girls get sick and the two guys kinda abandon them, going to a quieter part of the beach. The last scene shows them kissing, and it ends with F turning around and walking away, leaving a breathless A behind.
Well, save (pun unintended) for the "I can't be saved" relating to being gay, I'd like to think of it as an unrequited love story and not focus on the orientation thing. I suppose A has always harbored feelings for F, and F probably knows but never commits because he's probably not gay, and he uses A's devotion to his advantage. Poor A... He can't be saved. And it's true, his world is still fast asleep, and he's still stuck in his own moment, trying to kid himself that he'll be okay. But one day he will wake up, and when that happens he will realize that all his feelings meant nothing at all, and that he had nothing at all.
***
Follow your bliss It reads on my chest I know I got it tattooed for a reason Why can't I just hold it true?
'Cause I'm still crashing all the funerals Of these people that I never knew
I shut the door and turn all the lights out And listen to all the songs that the night shouts They go something like this, all dark
Sogo fill up a glass with tonic rocks and gin And drink yourself to happiness I'm stuck in a coma Stuck in a never ending sleep And some day I will wake up And realize I made up everything
I won't be saved And I can't be saved
``larcenciel
Music: Can't Be Saved - Senses Fail Mood: Thoughtful
10:25 PM
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Can You Hear Her Heart Speaking Through These Walls You've Built?
I watched Chloe for the second time. Catherine suspects that her husband is cheating on her and so sends a beautiful, young escort to test him. Chloe does as Catherine tells her, and always reports back with the detailed, erotic stories of her encounters. Catherine is unnerved at first, but she soon finds herself wanting to listen more as it made her feel closer to her husband. Little does she know that Chloe has fallen for her, and all the encounters were merely lies waxed carefully with pretty words and hidden desires by Chloe in her attempt to keep Catherine by her side. In a moment of weakness, Catherine gives in to an intimate night with Chloe but she regrets it and breaks it off, and eventually discovers the truth. On the night Catherine makes up with her husband, Chloe finds her for the last time and tries desperately to make Catherine accept her love. Catherine tells her it that it is impossible, but her resolve weakens when Chloe breaks down in front of her. She tells Chloe that she is beautiful, and asks what she wants her to do. Chloe tells her that she wants a last kiss. They share a gentle kiss together but Catherine pushes her away when she sees her son looking in. Chloe loses her balance and ends up falling to her death from the window. Some years have passed, and the film ends with Catherine at her son's graduation party wearing Chloe's hairpin.
Chloe is a sad character. She was an escort who made a living by selling her body, her gaze, her touch, her words and herself. Since her meeting with Catherine that started as such a business transaction, she soon sold her mind, soul and heart completely as well, only to be rejected and left with the sad realization that there was never any real love between them, and the lies she had started were the painful reminders of why they would never be.
If I let go now, I could keep this last kiss forever with me because I'll never wake up knowing I've hit the ground.
Homosexual love is so agonizing, eh.
``larcenciel
Music: We Were Never Young - Raised by Swans Mood: Pensive
4:20 AM
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Shut Your Lips and Talk with Your Hips
On first glance this song sounds demeaning to women. But no, it's not directed at women. It's directed at sluts.
Black dress with the tights underneath, I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth, And shes an actress, But she ain't got no need. She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east. Tongues always pressed to your cheeks, While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth, Tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef, That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him.
She wants to touch me woah, She wants to love me woah, She'll never leave me woah, Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, Won't trust a hoe, Won't trust me.
X's on the back of your hands, Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands. And your setlist, You stole off the stage, Had red and purple lipstick all over the page. Bruises cover your arms, Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm. And the best is, No one knows who you are, Just another girl alone at the bar.
Shush girl shut your lips, Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips. I said, Shush girl shut your lips, Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, Don't trust a hoe, Don't trust me.
``larcenciel
Music: Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3 Mood: Sleepy
11:50 PM
Sunday, September 05, 2010
He Watches Himself Burn
Caught another BL movie this afternoon; Eternal Summer. Jonathan and Shane have been best childhood buddies that have grown up together. Now in senior high, Jonathan realizes his feelings for Shane aren't so innocent anymore. He tries to ignore it, and when Carrie, the new transfer student arrives and takes a liking to him, they hook up. But he can't sleep with her - because he wants Men, more specifically, he wants Shane. Carrie is hurt by that, and she confronts him about his secret love for Shane. Jonathan admits it, and Carrie promises not to tell.
But the more dramatic a movie is, the better. So who should Shane fall for but Carrie? He confesses to her and they start dating behind Jonathan's back, although it is quite clear Carrie still likes Jonathan. Jonathan, at this time, is confused and is afraid that his feelings for Shane might show, thus he tries to avoid him. But he is weak to Shane's quirks and demands and eventually always gives in, spending time with him everyday.
By some unfortunate incident, Jonathan finds out Shane has been dating Carrie and he is broken by that. Hearing the words "Yes, I really like Carrie." from his best friend banished whatever small hope he had that Shane might somehow return his feelings. He tries to forget his sorrows with another man.
Shane tries his best to "make up" to Jonathan as he feels guilty about keeping the secret. One night, Jonathan is frustrated with Shane's "make up" efforts and tells him that he never wanted to befriend Shane from the start and he never liked it. Shane gets mad and in a drunken stupor, takes Jonathan in his bed. Jonathan struggles, but as soon as their lips touched, all form of resistance and willpower on Jonathan's part vanished. They share an intimate night together. But in the end, it was only a fleeting moment of happiness that would soon be permanently stolen when Jonathan eventually confesses, and Shane tells him, "You will always be my best friend."
That was the end of the movie. It left a really bad aftertaste for me. Unrequited love is miserable. Unrequited love that only wants to be your "best friend" is even more unbearable. But at least Jonathan could now move on, and he could give someone else his love. Someone else who would accept him like this and who desired the same as him. BL movies should be less pessimistic; instead, make the sad, rejected story an "intro" and a true, happy romance the main dish. It is BL, after all. It is not supposed to be so tragic. Although, at least in this one, no one committed suicide.
``larcenciel
Music: Love the Way You Lie - Eminem feat. Rihanna Mood: Sad
2:32 AM
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Life By Life
I was on a prowl for BL movies the past few days, and I found a gem of a movie; Bungee Jumping of Their Own.
Boy meets Girl. Boy falls in love with Girl. Chases Girl. They start going out, and before Boy enlists in army, Girl dies in car accident. Fast forward 17 years on, Boy has become Man, and he teaches in a senior high school. He is happily married and has a cute daughter. Then he meets a student, who reminds him of his old flame. He tries to ignore it at first, but the signs are so clear - student has the strange perks and habits Girl used to have; like sticking pinky finger out, asking weird questions, flair in the arts. Man is overwhelmed. He thinks he is going crazy, imagining a 17-year old student to be a reincarnation of Girl? What's worse - the student is male.
Man's feelings get stronger and stronger and start to affect student. They both struggle with feelings for each other. They also struggle with the deadly grapevine around school, and soon, student is pushed to his edge and publicly humiliates Man. Man is fired from school because of concerns that he was gay and preying on his young student. Man's wife leaves him, he descends into sorrow.
Meanwhile, student starts recognizing his own feelings for Man while he is gone, and he is somehow reminded of his "previous" life as Girl, and he remembers the place where they were supposed to meet before he got enlisted in the army. Student immediately goes there and is almost knocked over by a car as well, but narrowly escapes. He rushes to the meeting place and sees Man waiting there. They look at each other, each silently acknowledging the other and remembering their love that once was and could be again.
But society is cruel to homosexuality. Before, his ex-wife asked him, Are you gay? Man replies, "I only love one person. No matter the circumstance." The newly reunited lovebirds are confronted with the troubles of a same-sex relationship and decide instead, to die again, in hope of reincarnating "correctly" this time, so that society could be more forgiving.
Before they die, student says to Man, This time I'll get it right. Man says, What if I become a girl? Student says, It's okay. We'll try again. I'll always love you. I'll only love you.
My darling, even if something untoward should happen to me, know that I will always love only you. And that I will somehow return and worm my way into your life again - even if not in this current form, then in another - because loving you is all I can ever do. Believe me.